i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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