Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
