so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
