arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
