weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
