Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
