ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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