he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
