i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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