I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Holy shit dude........stairs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
