Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
