Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
