Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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