As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
