we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
