i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
