Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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