That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
