Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
