I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
