i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
