The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
