What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
