Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
