oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
