So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
