it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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