Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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