Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
