Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
