My liver just broke up with me...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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