please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
