I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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