yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
