I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he fucked my hip out of place.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
