Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
