do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
