these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
