i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
