Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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