apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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