Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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