did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
