i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
