At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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