i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
