Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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