yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
