He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
