Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
